'My truth isn't an ugly one' | The Guardian
Steven Greenberg, the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi, tells Libby Brooks how he squares his sexuality with his faith
When, at the age of 20, Steven Greenberg discussed his attraction to men as well as women for the first time, his religious counsellor offered a surprising and optimistic interpretation of his predicament. "He told me: 'You have twice the power of love. Use it carefully.' I left the meeting thinking everything was going to be fine."That embattled young man is now Rabbi Steven Greenberg, the world's first openly gay Orthodox rabbi. And since his early struggles to align his sexuality with his religion, the 46-year-old has worked to ensure that the welcome he received then be extended to all those lesbians and gay men who wish to enjoy human intimacy without being forced to abandon the communities they love.
"People blame religion for homophobia," he begins, "but a pre-modern Jewish rabbi would say that this is one sin among many. The taboo of homosexuality is actually quite contemporary, but it tends to mobilise religions in its service. If you look in many religions you find a complex and rich history of engagement with issues of sexuality and desire." And concomitant with this is his sense that the gay rights movement can expand with, rather than distance itself from, religious orthodoxy.
"If you're told that religion is the problem, and if you're rejected from the religious environment, then the response has been to reject religion and religious communities. But increasingly people are insisting on not abandoning those communities and marking them as unchangeable, but instead forcing them to become real visions for humanity rather than clubs for heterosexuals." And when people accept that homosexuality is not a choice, but a part of the self, then the challenge, he says, becomes a deeply moral one: "Are these institutions willing to be unafraid of addressing the realities of the human condition?"
A strict interpretation of the Torah reveals more latitude than many might expect. The only direct reference to homosexuality can be found in Leviticus. "What's prohibited very clearly is intercourse between men, but no other act is deemed problematic. Relationships between women are not mentioned in the Hebrew bible either, and are only obliquely addressed in the rabbinic literature." Thus the sameness of the gender isn't the problem, he argues, as it doesn't pose a problem for women. "The issue is intercourse. Asking why the Hebrew bible should concern itself with intercourse between men is an interesting and important question, but even before you answer that, you recognise that the thought that the Torah is somehow rejecting homosexuality is patently false."
But while the theory may lend itself to flexibility, in reality many orthodox lesbians and gay men face discrimination. Trembling Before G-d, the award-winning documentary feature to which Greenberg contributes, recounts some of their stories. As director Sandi DuBowski notes, the late 1990s marked a kind of Stonewall, as the homosexual Orthodox community moved from isolation to organisation, through the foundation of a global network of support groups and the establishment of Jerusalem's only gay and lesbian centre. But the majority of Orthodox and Hassidic Jews continue to treat homosexuality as a sin or sickness, and DuBowski's film includes the accounts of men and women who have been shunned by their families, expelled from yeshivas and synagogues, and forced to undergo reparative therapy in an attempt to convert them to heterosexuality.
Greenberg, who lives in New York with his partner of four years, goes as far as to suggest that coming out can be a religious experience. "It's about saying, 'I know that my truth isn't an ugly one', and that's a very religious sensibility. I've known people become religious after coming out because they begin to ask, 'OK, if this is who I am, lead me to my best life, Lord.' The truth-telling in coming out can be enormously healing."
Greenberg was raised in Columbus, Ohio. Although his family were not especially observant, a series of serendipitous happenings brought him as a teenager to the local Orthodox synagogue and an inspirational English rabbi. "I was blown away by belonging to this vertical intellectual community of [historic] lives, and then there was this horizontal present tense community of the synagogue. I became so happily a part of it that I decided I couldn't ever leave." Although he had yet to discover that he was attracted to other men, his faith already distinguished him.
"For Columbus, Ohio, I was choosing the path less travelled. Believe it or not, orthodoxy for me was the most non-conformist, unconventional, counter-cultural choice. It was the choice for meaning against banal middle-class life, a choice for history against the flatness of American culture, a choice for thinking about the great questions of life and meaning as opposed to concerning oneself with rock bands and baseball scores."
After travelling to Israel to continue his religious studies, he gradually began to question his sexual orientation. "The consciousness that one is attracted to the same sex needs outward corroboration to make it real," he explains. "Without the ability to speak it, it was like a dream, an awareness that dissipated seconds later." Despite the early positive response from the counsellor he confided in, Greenberg continued to date women throughout his 20s, even getting engaged to one. "It's a long time to keep hoping against hope [that you'll change], but at a certain point it became impossible. It was not what I wanted."
Although open about his sexuality with his family and friends, he wrestled with the notion of coming out before doing so very publicly in an interview with an Israeli newspaper in 1999.
On balance, people have been supportive, he says. "Orthodox rabbis were largely not vicious, because they knew my intentions were good, though they wanted to affirm that it was a prohibition. But one rabbi said that to say that one is an orthodox rabbi and gay is like saying one is an orthodox rabbi who eats cheese- burgers on Yom Kippur. He insisted I was a reform rabbi." A newspaper asked Greenberg to respond to the attack. "I said that I don't argue that this is a unique stance, but what I will say is that nobody jumps off a bridge, or takes Prozac or gets electric-shock therapy on account of a cheeseburger. To deprive a human being of love and companionship is not to deprive them of a cheeseburger."
His participation in DuBowski's film has raised his profile further, as will the publication later this year of his book Of Wrestling with God and Men, which explores the nexus of Jewishness and sexuality. He takes a Zen approach to his critics, he says. "I despised myself for being gay for quite a while, so I'm patient with straight people for whom it takes time to understand." But ultimately his spiritual quest can never afford complete resolution. "I don't presume to understand God's ways or God's final judgment. You build a life, you live it and you trust that a just and loving God will receive you. Only a fool isn't prepared to be surprised when confronting the Almighty."
· Trembling Before G-d opens today at selected cinemas. There will be Q&As with the director, Sandi Simcha DuBowski, and Rabbi Steve Greenberg, after two screenings this Sunday at London's Screen on the Hill.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEoKyaqpSerq96wqikaJ9iZMC1u9GyZmlkY2t9dXiYb21wb2FhfXF6x62kpQ%3D%3D